EBSA toolkit
8. Gathering the views of parents and carers
What do parents/carers say they need from educational settings ?
- Empathy
- Communication
- Trust
- Hope
- Understanding
- Support
- To be listened to
- To be involved throughout the process
- Validation
Some parents and carers find it hard to talk about the struggles they face when trying to get their child to school. They may also be dealing with stress from work, family, their own mental health, or their own past school experiences. Parents managing children with school anxiety (EBSA) are often tired, stressed, and anxious themselves.
For school staff to help, it's important they build trust with parents and carers. If they don’t listen and understand, they won’t gain trust, and the child may not feel safe enough to come to school.
Parents and carers have shared their feelings when EBSA isn't supported:
- "It’s a lonely and stressful journey. You feel misunderstood and unsupported by friends, family, and school staff who don’t get why your child won’t go to school."
- "Telling us about legal consequences for not sending our child to school made things worse. That’s something we, as parents, have to deal with, not the child."
- "You grieve for what life used to be like—taking your child to school, seeing them happy, having friends. When your child withdraws from the world because of EBSA, it’s heartbreaking and the future can feel uncertain."
To help children with EBSA, school staff need to work closely with parents and carers. Often, children can’t explain why school is hard, but parents can help understand the issues and find solutions.
When meeting with parents and carers, it's important to ask about their situation, listen carefully, and show empathy. Schools should also assign a key person to keep in touch with the family.
Supporting parents is just as important as helping the child. Schools should connect parents with support services and make sure all information is clear and easy to understand.
Gathering the views of setting staff
It is essential that representatives from educational setting s seek information from members of staff who work most closely with the child or young person. We all respond differently according to the environment, situation, or task and with different people. Each member of staff may have valuable information to help identify triggers for anxiety and strategies the young person responds positively to. It is important to seek out the views of any members of staff the young person speaks positively about and any member of staff where relationships may be more difficult. In a secondary school and college, this may involve seeking information from every subject teacher as well as other staff.
Key information to gather:
- Strengths and difficulties
- What is going well?
- Relationships with peers
- Response to academic tasks
- Relationships with adults
- Emotional response
- What support has been put in place?
- How have they responded to support?
- Any other ideas?
An example of a ‘School staff Information gathering form’ can be found in the resource section. It is also essential to consider whether the child has any unidentified special educational needs, medical needs, or a disability. If they are not already involved, setting staff should consult with the setting’s Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCo) or pastoral team and as per the Vulnerable Learners Protocol (VLP) , ensure that schools and further education providers are working together to identify vulnerabilities and ensure that additional planning for young people is in place from year 9 onwards.